have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
