Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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