I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
