I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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