maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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