I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
