Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
