lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
