North Korea, Best Korea!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
