We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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