Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
