haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
