you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
