It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
