it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
