It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
