Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
