I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
