ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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