I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dick very happy bro
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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