dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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