your room smells of hookers.
And success
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
