i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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