Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
