on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
