...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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