College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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