Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
