Where are you?
In a non slutty way
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
