Kiss
Puke
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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