You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
