the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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