you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
