I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
