btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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