Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
These tits shall not be calmed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
