We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
