Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
