Did you just see the Batmobile???
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's the barista slut.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
