At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
