Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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