PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
