I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
