That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
