She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
