this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
