don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
