the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
