Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
