You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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