Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
